Sunday, April 25, 2010

Dear Past

Dear Past,
I am writing this to you to let you know not to worry. I have learned many new things and I wish to let you know about them. I want you to let go and experience more then you could have ever imagined. This whole note is going to revolve around an underlining message that will redefine your understanding of what is really important.
To start I want you to forget about everything you know about who you are and what is important. I want you to let go of the miscellaneous details that have ever upset you. You need to realize that you can live through everything. Life goes on and will be fine. All of those days when you wanted to run away, to fight, to scream, and to give up were wasted to nothingness. Those days have been lost forever and in time you will want them back. Forget about your meaning of life when things were not going right.
In time you you will see that you are you and nobody else. Try not to change who you and never be ashamed of who you are. Mistakes will happen, you will be embarrassed, you will be human. To cover up who you are is just a lie to yourself and to those around. Your true friends won't care about the little things or the big things, because if they are your friends they will know you for you and understand.
Follow your heart and your instincts. Don't force a relationship that isn't meant to happen. You may regret it but it is for the best. Follow your heart to the end of the world and back. We are all meant to live one life, why not live it to the fullest. If you are mean to live single enjoy the freedom, if you are meant to live with others enjoy the company.
Be true to your self and remember to live life, don't shy away from it. Let the little things float away with the seconds of time, let the major things rolls away with the hours. Don't dwell on anything that vexes you. Live Life. Embraces it. Love it. Be apart of it.

Friday, April 16, 2010


It has been one hell of a season and doesn't seem to have an ending in sight. I have been home roughly 20 days this year. So 86 out of the last 106 days I have lived out of my duffel bag. Yes in some places I was able to unpack and expand my life but in general my only resources have fit into my duffel bag or my car. It is amazing to sit here in Sunny SoCal and look back two weeks where I was in Montana watching as a foot of snow fell. Crazy. Here I worry about my tan lines on my arms and legs and not long ago the only tan lines I had to worry about was the one that my goggles left on my face. I go from wearing multiple layers of fleece and down to two layers of Lycra. I live an amazing life and I can't complain. Sure I may speak about the little things but as I sit here I realize what I have been able to do with my life. My teammates have the idea of writing a book about what not to do with your life, ie don't buy a bike its addictive and in the end costs more then you initially planned, at the same time you do get to ride in really cool places. I do sit here and wonder what I would be doing if I weren't in sport? Would I have a full time job, would I still be living in Colorado Springs, would I know the people that I know?

I live an awesome life surrounded by awesome people. A group of individuals that are stereo typically cast aside by society come together and the world becomes a normal place. I ski with people that can out ski able bodied athletes. I ride with people who climb higher mountains then those with all limbs attached and working. I get to see what some call miracles everyday and all I think about is how awesome we are. Teammates help out other teammates. Teammates congratulate everybody after total annihilation up hills. Whether we are on the top or the bottom we come together and act like a team. At the end of the day we get off our bikes and we sit and have lunch and dinner and look as if we just came from the deepest darkest pain cave but we still smile. We smile for the friendships that we have, for the stories we have to tell, and for the work that we have just done. When you can sit there and your only accomplishment for the day is the fact that you survived is the best story that there is. We sit together knowing that we have all just given one hundred percent and that we are going to give another one hundred percent in a couple hours. We know that we are a team. These are the people that I like and honestly the only people that I would like to have lunch with. People who have the worst most painful day and walk with their heads up high knowing that they are going to do the same thing the next day are the people I am going to surround myself with. If I can make it with those people I can make it with any group of people.

The people who you want to be around will help you become the person you are today and I am glad that I am surround by honest, hard working, give all people.